After leaving the hospital our minds went back to focus mode on getting everything ready for her service. We went with the same funeral home as Beckham, and they were incredible to work with again. We got to Broomhead and sat down and went over the date, and all that information. Then came time to pick out her casket, we unfortunately knew this process all too well. Because of her size the options were pretty limited but we picked out a white silk casket with pink rose on it. Now it was time for the cemetery. When burying Beckham because he is so small and it was a full size plot they gave us the option to bury him in the front or back of the plot, but thinking we didn't want to jinx it or that we would ever use it again we put him in the middle. We ended up getting it figured out but had to move Beckham to put her in there to. We didn't care what the cost or trouble, we just wanted them together.
The next day we did the usual, we went to the mall to get outfits and found a little bracelet and charms to represent each of us to put inside of her casket. It was a different month, day, and funeral; yet it all looked the same. We walked through the mall defeated, exhausted, with broken hearts. When we looked around everyone around us kept living, it was just a normal day, seeing us they would think the me thing not knowing what just happened a couple days prior, as if it was all just a nightmare we would wake up from.
January 21, 2016 it was the day of her service. Parker and I went alone in the funeral home to see her and put her bracelet in with her. We walked up to where she was laying on the table in her casket. As we stood over there looking at our beautiful baby girl, this time no tears fell we just stood in silence in awe that she was ours. It was time to head to the cemetery so we wrapped her back up and shut the casket. We didn't say a word the whole time there or to the cemetery, we sat in silence listening to our favorite song. I think it had really sunk in how much we have really lost this last year and our hearts just ached.
We had a very small service for our baby girl with just immediate family members. We were too emotionally exhausted to speak at it so just decided to have Brynn sing "I am a child of God" and show her slideshow that I made. It was freezing cold and really windy, but it turned out so beautiful and was really sweet small service. Poor Brynn was just sobbing the entire time and it broke my heart seeing her this way at another funeral. Just when I think our resilient children have gone through enough, they face another heartbreak and prove to me how strong they are. It's hard living each day with a smile on our face when half our family isnt down her with us, yet they find a way to still be grateful and find joy in each day. I look up to them and how they have handled everything and hope that I can cope and live the way they do. We said our goodbyes and see you laters and spent the rest of the day with our family.
No comments:
Post a Comment