Fathers Day

Another hard first for us here. It was hard because this day is so focused on dads and that for Brynnlee especially was a hard reminder that Logan isn't here. She said to me "mom I don't like to talk about my dad" when I asked her why she said "because I don't have a dad like the other kids and so I am embarrassed." I know I have heard and said a million times that he is here with us but it doesn''t make it any easier. Logan came into Brynnlee's life when she was just 3 months old. He adopted her and was sealed to her shortly after we got married. Logan was meant to be apart of Brynnlee's life, and I truly believe that she was meant to be apart of his. After we had Brody I really did feel like our family may have been complete. Seeing the way Logan was with them absolutely melted my heart. They both lit up when he would get home and he would do the same. One of the things I miss the most is having him here with me to watch the kids grow, they have changed so much since he has been gone and I wish more than anything I could have him here to share that with him. I am however very grateful for the time we did have him with us, just the short time we had with him he made the biggest impressions and me and the kids.

For Fathers Day we went to Logan's grave and dropped him off a few presents. Brody even drank a Jones Soda for him.  HAPPY FATHERS DAY LOGAN!

 This video was a couple days before Logan passed away. Logan used to take Brody in my room and practice blowing duck calls with him for about 20 min every night.

 This video almost makes me cry every time, I miss that silly laugh and beautiful smile so much.

now that Logan is gone I feel alot of pressure taking on "dad responsibilities". Luckily I am definitely not alone with that. I have four brothers and Logan has three, plus two grandpas that I can always count on with that aspect. I didn''t realize how important and what a differance it makes with the priesthood in our home. With that I also am never alone, I just have to make 1 call and anyone of those very special men in our lives can help. I would be so much more stressed if I didn't have such amazing male figures in my kids life.