Chad

While writing this I can’t even believe that I got as much done that week as I did. I always thought that when someone passed away the family just sat around and cried all day and never left their bed, but you really have no time for that. Chad’s car was still sitting in front of my house from when he met Logan there, and I didn’t want to see it anymore, so I asked Chad and Logan’s good friend Derek to come with me to take it back.  I hadn’t seen the Tohinaka’s since everything happened so I really wanted to go see them. Derek and I were just driving talking about all the fun memories we have of the both of them when all of the sudden we see a cop behind us with his lights on. We started freaking out, Derek lives in California so he only had a California drivers license, I didn’t have mine with me, and we were driving Chad’s car.. Well if anyone knows me my luck with cops it’s never good. I told Derek that I will do the talking and just explain the situation and that we would be fine. Well the cop walks up to the window and I freeze and start stuttering saying uh, um , uhhh. I couldn’t even talk! The cop says “Oh hi Natasha, are you doing okay?” it was my old neighbor, he was just like, “you were speeding, but I will let you go”, that was the first time I have ever gotten out of a ticket. I was SO scared but I know Logan and Chad were probably laughing so hard about that one. That’s probably the first time I have laughed in a week, it felt really good, so thanks guys!

            When we got to the Tohinaka’s ,Chad’s dad met us on the porch and he just broke down. My heart was hurting so bad for them, at that moment I was so mad at Chad for doing that to his family. When I went inside it was about the same somber feeling at my house. I started to get the feeling I had with Brynnlee, I wanted so badly to shield them from what I knew they were probably facing. So many people were so badly affected by this. While we were discussing their plans for Chad’s funeral I was brought back to my memories with Chad. I first met the both of them when I was about 13 years old, Chad drove me and my friend Sami with Logan in the front seat to this “haunted house”, following that the cardboard house. Chad shared many important moments in my family’s life. My first kiss was Logan, in the back of Chad’s car, the night Logan proposed we went to a movie with Chad, our wedding Chad was one of Logan’s best men, We spent a lot of our dinners with Chad, the day Brynnlee was sealed to us Chad was there, the night after having Brody Chad asked the nurse if they had an extra couch so he could sleep over too, our first anniversary Logan and Chad watched the godfather and I went to bed, every birthday party I threw for Brynnlee Chad was there. . Brynnlee considered him her uncle and my parents and brothers loved Chad, not to mention Logan's, we all shared great memories with him. I never know how to describe mine and Chad’s relationship, friend just didn’t seem like a good enough term for it. Sometimes I felt like a sister, wife, friend, counselor and much much more. I missed so badly our 1 a.m. talks about the 4 dates he went on for the day, or his crazy ghost investigations and all the audio he wanted to show us. I always took him for granted and didn’t realize how much he meant to me until I didn’t have him around anymore. Being at Chad’s house made it hit me for the first time that he was actually gone too. I love Chad’s family so much, and it just broke my heart seeing all of them like that, and yet they were so strong throughout the whole thing, I felt even more connected to them now then I was before.  Chad loved his family and adored his sister Kelsi, he constantly was worried and wanted the best for her. For some reason I felt like I now needed to protect her, even though she didn’t even need me. They told me that I was invited to see Chad with them for the first time since the accident, throughout the whole thing they included me more then I could have ever asked for, I was so grateful to them.

            When the Hardmans and I got to the mortuary I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it, at the point my emotions were really out of control. I saw how upset Mike, Karen and Kelsi all were and I just wanted to hug them, I knew how hard it was to see Logan and felt bad they had to go through the same pain. The first time I saw Chad it didn’t even look like him, he was very swollen and the whole time I was there I just kept telling myself that wasn’t really him. They put him in a button up Tommy Hilfiger shirt and jeans, it fit him perfectly. Chad really dressed to impress and he always did just that. I didn’t cry the whole time I was there, I don’t know if I just didn’t have anything left or I was just so worried about his family and that they were okay. All of Chad’s family even aunts, uncles etc were so welcoming to me and kept saying how sorry they were and asked if I was okay. I felt dumb because here it is there family member that passed away and yet they were worried about how I was doing. They were so sweet to me, Karen and I just kept joking that Chad was there hiding behind Logan because they were so scared of me. She even asked me when I got there if I needed a minute to yell at him nobody would hear.  I love being around them,  I am so glad that we have each other to lean on and grateful that Logan and Chad were as close as they were, so we could have this relationship.
R.I.P Chad, I am sure going to miss you buddy!